Recently many members of the Beyond Education Community have commented on their sex lives becoming abundant as they learned a new approach to sex, one based in friendship and sensuality research. Relatedness or friendship is a more steady and long-lasting foundation than lust. When you add sensuality research on top of that firm foundation, turn-on or long-term sexual attraction not only stays in existence but tends to increase. The rewards of sensuality research are vast, both within committed monogamous relationships and within more open relationships. In long-term relationships it keeps the sex getting better and better. In less committed relationships it does that as well, but also increases the likelihood that one's partner will stick around, instead of the typical serial or short-term nature of most uncommitted relationships. A friendship where someone is having a great time, learning a lot about sensuality and is under no restrictions is not a friendship people give up easily.
Today, a coaching client asked me about how to handle the fact that several women he was doing research with wanted to add intercourse into the picture. Since he hasn't been rushing, has had his attention on pleasuring these women and giving them what they want, they want more. He is reaping the benefits of sensuality research because he didn't "blow out" the relationships with the typical "rush towards a goal" approach. Now they can make the decision about intercourse. Whether to add intercourse into the situation is a case by case decision. Although it can, sensuality research usually does not involve intercourse and he is aware of the benefits and risks. Research friends have practices they can engage in without the emotional charge of intercourse and committed relationships gain a whole extra set of pleasurable practices to add to their sex lives. These sensuality practices are addressed with increasing depth in the more advanced sections of the Beyond Education Curriculum like the Sensuality Certification Program.
Alicia and I invite you to join us in being deliberate about your fun!
Thanks,
Erwan
